My existence is no longer known
My heart beats but no one was there to listen
I cried at night wondering why I was here
My eyes empty filled with hate
Pouring with tears of regret
My soul was broken
An empty shell it seemed
But I was still here
I call out to you
You don't know my name
My life crumbles before you in misery and pain
A mere shadow to you
I looked into your eyes
You see nothing
I mourn to be with you
But that can't happen
For I am no normal girl
I am trapped in this world
Forbidden to leave
A punishment I must endure
But I've committed nothing . . . but death
My existence is no longer known
I wish for to be seen
By you of all people
Please . . . hear me
[Descript.]


Dear everyone,

Please understand, I wasn’t strong enough to stay with on this earth. I understand that committing suicide is a sin, and I will be stuck in the bars of hell forever, but I promise you that one day I will see you again; I will meet you in the tunnel before it splits into heaven and hell.

Tell Tess, that she will always be my muffin and that I am sorry I broke the promise. Tell Brady, Caleb and Brad thank you for always being there forever for me, and that I will always love them. Tell Dad that I love him and that I’m sorry for always being such a prissy, snob toward him. Tell Mum that I never hated her, and that she always did everything for me, and I was so grateful and lucky to have her in my life. Tell Tom and Jim, that they were the best brother anyone could ask for, getting me thing I didn’t need or just making me feel special because I was so young, tell them I love them. Tell Tiff and Nikki to treat my brothers well, and that they were truly like sisters to me, I love them. Tell Abby that she was my miracle, and that I will always love her, she was so amazing, and it was a miracle watching her walk, and learn to talk. These people were the ones who I went through so much with, and I love them all so much and I need to thank them because they are what supported me.

I feel horrible about putting anyone into any sort of mourning, and that I will be eternally sorry for doing this.

I will always love you all.

Aly.


The only problem with my suicide was that I am stuck on earth, not forever just until I figure out what I was needed for in two years time. Why I needed to be alive for that specific amount of time.

Turns out from a few week ago, I found out my parents aren’t really my parents but my aunt and uncle, who took me in after my mother went on drugs and my father left because he didn’t want to be around someone whom was doing that. My aunt found out about it and took me in, ever since then I have considered her my mother, and I never knew any different. Yet after I found out I couldn’t feel the same about my mother anymore. Knowing that she didn’t give birth to me didn’t help me overly much, in my state at the time. Seeing as I had been dumped a week before by someone whom I loved very much, and half of my friends chose him over me.